This is a pondering weekend. Yesterday I went to a student's funeral. (Not my student.) All death is sad. The death of a little one is so very sad. But this death was also mindless and dumb - brimming over, in fact, with infuriating stupidity. The child in question was a diabetic. This past week, she caught cold, as so many do in springtime. Her grandparents gave her something from over the counter. It was not right. She was dead within the hour.
Her funeral seemed to magnify the senselessness of her loss. The mother was, of course, inconsolable. She was screaming and wailing, then fainting, then carried off by the ushers. And I tell you I was glad when they took her away. I assure you there is no more awful sound than that of a mother grieving her child. I could not have listened to it one more moment, it was that unbearable. There were others - family, young siblings, classmates - all of them suffering. All over something unnatural, and completely unnecessary.
I pity her grandparents more than anything. They've made it through most of their lives, and now towards the very end they have this burden. Sweet Jesus, if you only let me die without slipping up and having an accident like that in my lifetime ...
The good Lord makes right what we do wrong and brings good from every evil. How in heaven's name will He make this right? Some way, some how, beyond our vision. Truly He must be mighty indeed.
March 11, 2012
February 26, 2012
Spring Cleaning
Hello friends. My stat counter tells me that there has been a little boost in readership - so I took a moment to do some spring cleaning around here. I updated the Archives and added/repaired some broken links. I have a lot of linkies on here, so if you find one that doesn't work, leave me a comment or use the newly fixed "contact me" button.
I'm also going to try to start responding to comments more consistently.
I have been blogging for eight years, beginning in 2004, when I was still an annoying (I see it now) teenager. That means these blog posts ( and you readers!) are among my oldest friends. Here's to future years of blogging. (Now watch, I'll get hit by a bus.)
I'm also going to try to start responding to comments more consistently.
I have been blogging for eight years, beginning in 2004, when I was still an annoying (I see it now) teenager. That means these blog posts ( and you readers!) are among my oldest friends. Here's to future years of blogging. (Now watch, I'll get hit by a bus.)
February 22, 2012
Yay Lent
I was afraid I would keel over and die, trying to get through a teaching day while fasting. But the reality is that I don't really ever eat at school. The hardest part was remembering not to throw a handful of Cheerios in my mouth at the end of the day. My plan for Lent is to do this truly wonderful Friday thing my parish has ... Mass, followed by Adoration, followed by Benediction, followed by Stations of the Cross. I'm not giving up anything, except the usual dessert-y stuff.
The weather here was lovely. We haven't had too many outside days at school. When it's rainy, or snowing, or too cold, recess is cancelled and the bambini go to the gym. But today the sun shown and the thermostat hit 70. So up and out with them!
Well, there was a dead bird on the playground. I found this out when I went to go pick them up, and one of the boys comes running towards me with a giant wing in each hand. No torso. Just 2 wings, separate from each other.
My first thought was "good freaking grief, what in God's name is that," followed by "what can I scream to make him stop and drop it." The horror must have been etched all over my face, because he asked to wash his hands three times that afternoon, and the other children abhorred his touch. (Okay a little dramatic there. They did treat him like a leper for at least 15 minutes.)
I am so happy and grateful this day is over. As long-time readers are probably aware, Lent and I have a long history of shoe-dropping horribleness. But so far, so good.
The weather here was lovely. We haven't had too many outside days at school. When it's rainy, or snowing, or too cold, recess is cancelled and the bambini go to the gym. But today the sun shown and the thermostat hit 70. So up and out with them!
Well, there was a dead bird on the playground. I found this out when I went to go pick them up, and one of the boys comes running towards me with a giant wing in each hand. No torso. Just 2 wings, separate from each other.
My first thought was "good freaking grief, what in God's name is that," followed by "what can I scream to make him stop and drop it." The horror must have been etched all over my face, because he asked to wash his hands three times that afternoon, and the other children abhorred his touch. (Okay a little dramatic there. They did treat him like a leper for at least 15 minutes.)
I am so happy and grateful this day is over. As long-time readers are probably aware, Lent and I have a long history of shoe-dropping horribleness. But so far, so good.
February 5, 2012
"We Will Not Comply."
-my Bishop
Go to the White House website here to sign a petition demanding this mandate be rescinded.
Go to the White House website here to sign a petition demanding this mandate be rescinded.
February 3, 2012
I Don't Collect Pink Lids
Does that make me a bad person, according to you?
My life is tough. I love yogurt. And that means I often have to camp out in the dairy section, sorting through Yoplait and Dannon, searching for a cup without a pink lid. Because, well before the most recent fracas, I knew that Komen for the Cure funded Planned Parenthood. And we all know that money is fungible. And we all know (or should know) what PP does to maintain its profit margins. (Mammograms, by the way, are a loss leader.)
My life story has been enmeshed with Planned Parenthood in ways I am not at liberty to discuss. But I can say that I know from long study and personal experience that it represents a structure of absolute depravity, injustice and evil, putrefying with corruption and racism from its very foundation to this very day.
I know progress will come and humanity will vomit this thing out of our system. But until then I cannot avert my eyes from the spectacle of soooo many wealthy white people jumping at the chance to help PP stretch its tentacles into the homes of the weak and the poor.
I guess the point of this post is to let Komen for the Cure know that their tepid, weak-kneed attempt at a "principled stand" and -subsequent take-backsies- MEAN NOTHING TO ME.
And yes, I will continue LEANING INTO THE DAIRY SHELVES UP TO MY ELBOWS FREEZING MY FINGERS OFF IN SEARCH OF A PINK-LESS LID.
Turds.
My life is tough. I love yogurt. And that means I often have to camp out in the dairy section, sorting through Yoplait and Dannon, searching for a cup without a pink lid. Because, well before the most recent fracas, I knew that Komen for the Cure funded Planned Parenthood. And we all know that money is fungible. And we all know (or should know) what PP does to maintain its profit margins. (Mammograms, by the way, are a loss leader.)
My life story has been enmeshed with Planned Parenthood in ways I am not at liberty to discuss. But I can say that I know from long study and personal experience that it represents a structure of absolute depravity, injustice and evil, putrefying with corruption and racism from its very foundation to this very day.
I know progress will come and humanity will vomit this thing out of our system. But until then I cannot avert my eyes from the spectacle of soooo many wealthy white people jumping at the chance to help PP stretch its tentacles into the homes of the weak and the poor.
I guess the point of this post is to let Komen for the Cure know that their tepid, weak-kneed attempt at a "principled stand" and -subsequent take-backsies- MEAN NOTHING TO ME.
And yes, I will continue LEANING INTO THE DAIRY SHELVES UP TO MY ELBOWS FREEZING MY FINGERS OFF IN SEARCH OF A PINK-LESS LID.
Turds.
January 16, 2012
"But I Don't Have a Family!"
I find myself spending a lot of time these days, just sitting in my car in the Walmart parking lot, thinking thoughts. Remember those old Oncor frozen dinner ads? The ones featuring "Al" and a variety of people who could not possibly finish the 6 yummy servings of juicy Salisbury steak?
I was just a kid when these commercials were playing. Whenever they got to the part where the wrestler, or referee, or football coach says "but I don't have a family!" they'd lose me, utterly. I thought: everyone has a family. I mean, everyone at least has a mother! What they meant of course, was not having a family "of one's own." I have finally figured this out. Better late than never.
This is what I was thinking about in the Walmart parking lot. And it hit me on a new level - everything this "I don't have a family" statement implies. What does it mean to be single-in-the-world?
#1 Singleness is increasingly singular. I am in that season of life where everyone at the party is pairing off. How supremely awkward to be in that room, with no desire or expectation to follow the pattern. Which leads me to the second point that
#2 Singleness is increasingly lonely. Yes, blah blah blah, single people can have a wide circle of friends. But single people are usually friends with single people, of which there are fewer and fewer (see #1.) Marrieds usually make friends with marrieds, preferably with marrieds who have children about the same age. Even if they do happen to keep up a friendship with a single, the reality is that where human relationships are concerned
#3 Singleness means never being at the top of anyone's priority list. Which means always being near the bottom. We all know those friends who will do anything for each other. But we all also know that family comes first. When push comes to shove, a single is never on the winning side.
so I am feeling pretty stinky about it, and rather jealous of the normals who want to be married and have families of their own. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to say: "I don't have a family" out loud, without some trepidation. One thing that's okay about it is the Oncor dinners. I don't need "Al" to invite himself and his family over for dinner. I have the stomach of a cow - I can down 6 Salisbury steaks easy.
I was just a kid when these commercials were playing. Whenever they got to the part where the wrestler, or referee, or football coach says "but I don't have a family!" they'd lose me, utterly. I thought: everyone has a family. I mean, everyone at least has a mother! What they meant of course, was not having a family "of one's own." I have finally figured this out. Better late than never.
This is what I was thinking about in the Walmart parking lot. And it hit me on a new level - everything this "I don't have a family" statement implies. What does it mean to be single-in-the-world?
#1 Singleness is increasingly singular. I am in that season of life where everyone at the party is pairing off. How supremely awkward to be in that room, with no desire or expectation to follow the pattern. Which leads me to the second point that
#2 Singleness is increasingly lonely. Yes, blah blah blah, single people can have a wide circle of friends. But single people are usually friends with single people, of which there are fewer and fewer (see #1.) Marrieds usually make friends with marrieds, preferably with marrieds who have children about the same age. Even if they do happen to keep up a friendship with a single, the reality is that where human relationships are concerned
#3 Singleness means never being at the top of anyone's priority list. Which means always being near the bottom. We all know those friends who will do anything for each other. But we all also know that family comes first. When push comes to shove, a single is never on the winning side.
so I am feeling pretty stinky about it, and rather jealous of the normals who want to be married and have families of their own. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to say: "I don't have a family" out loud, without some trepidation. One thing that's okay about it is the Oncor dinners. I don't need "Al" to invite himself and his family over for dinner. I have the stomach of a cow - I can down 6 Salisbury steaks easy.
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