Frown Turned Upside Down

Well, I was still in the dumps when I got up this morning. But then I found this great blog written by none other than the Holy Roman Pontiff, Papa Ratzi himself!! Check it out, its hilarious.

A Good Day Goes Crappy Fast

Today was a great day. Until 18:00. (That's 6:00 pm)

Baby and I went to pick up Baby's Dad at work. And when Baby's Dad came out of work, he was seriously steamed. He kept swearing under his breath. Bad words too (like the f-bomb!) He knows I wanna be a Sister, so he must've been really p-oed to do that. So it was very tense and uncomfortable in the car. Finally, after about thirty minutes of this, Baby's Dad turns around and says to Baby: "What's wrong, son? Why are you so quiet?" And I felt like screaming: You numbskull, isn't it obvious! You're what's wrong! Children can tell when their parents are upset. So Baby got weepy and upset because his Dad was angry and upset. It was so not fair.

I hate it when grown-ups get upset. I can't stand it. Because I immediately start thinking: What's wrong? Should I ask what's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Is there something I can and should do to make it better?

My Dad was waiting to pick me up. Of course, we were late, but how could I help that? I wasn't going to tell Mr. Furious to step on it! So My Dad was upset too. On the way home, he went on about how Baby's Dad had a nice car, but his is all beat up, and every nice thing he's ever had has been destroyed by his kids. He hands me a bill to open and asks me to read the balance to him, but I can't find it on the bill, so he snatches it away and reads it himself. "God," he says, "can't you ever do anything right?"

So, I was ready to burst into tears. But I remembered what I've read in "Meditations for Young Sisters," about the buoyant Sister who keeps her spirits up even when she's been horribly disappointed.

Sure it would be nice to go home and cry on someone's shoulder, but the better part of charity would be to sacrifice that comfort, put on a smiley face, and spare my friends and family the histrionics. So I bit my lower lip and tried really, really hard. And so far, I've been okay-successful, thank you Lord. I've made my dinner, unloaded the dishwasher, and made light conversation, all without giving anyone grief.

I wish I could leave the unpleasantness behind me, but its sticking to the roof of my mouth a la P.B. & J. It has a bitter taste, but that could just be the adrenaline from the raw terror that was coursing through my veins earlier this evening. Even sitting here typing this, I'm still scared silly, because I have to go back to Baby on Monday. And even though I know that Fear is the chief motivation of all my faults, I'm still afraid.

My Brother, The Marine

This past Monday, my brother had his interview at the local Armed Forces recruitment headquarters. A sergeant in fatigues talked to him for nearly an hour.

My brother has decided he wants to do this "Platoon" thing. During college, he'll attend two different Boot Camps, one for enlisted men, the other for officers. Once he graduates, he'll serve as an officer for at least four years.

I'm very proud of him. Not everyone has a brother in the Marine Corps. It's a rare honour, and in this time of war, his courage means a lot. Can you imagine swearing to "defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic ... [and] obey the orders of the President of the United States ..."

chills!!!

I think I'll enjoy introducing him as "Lieutenant Andy, United States Marine Corps," and making him wear his dress blues at all my fancy-schmancy events.

Incidentally: Did you know the Marines are part of the Navy? Ever see that "Simpsons" episode: Yvan eht Nioj? The uninitiated can click here for the secret message.

Some very POD Teaching Sisters tie the knot

Before:


After:

3 Reasons to Believe In God

1. Throughout history, in all cultures of the world, people have been convinced there is a God.

Faith is natural to all human beings. We're born believing in some kind of "higher power." Any good Anthropologist will tell you: even in the most isolated little civilizations, the natives practice some kind of religious system. (Anthropology makes somewhat arbitrary delineations between "religion" strictly speaking, and "magic"; both systems are fundamentally theistic.) Human doubt in Divinity is natural, atheism is not. Atheism is a Imperialistic, Eurocentric, unnatural, and fairly modern innovation.

2. The beauty and complexity of our planet points to a deliberate Designer.

Einstein and Lewis Thomas could not reconcile the the uniqueness of human cognition or the intricacy of physics and biochemistry with A Big Accident. Nobel prize winner Richard Feynmann summed up the principle, held by him and "all of the most eminent physicists of the 20th century," that it is beauty and simplicity, not a "scientific methodology" which is the primary standard for scientific truth. (And I would say all truth.)

3. Humankind's inherent sense of right and wrong cannot be biologically explained.

Ah, the famous sense of "ought." We are the only creatures which kill, steal, and destroy needlessly, and the only creatures which feel badly for doing so. Animals do not have courage, do not die for a cause, do not love, do not recoil at violations of their dignity, do not have a sense of duty and compassion. Altruism doesn't fit very well into a "survival of the fittest" worldview. And yet it exists. God is the only explaination for it.

One-O-Five-Live

The folks at Vatican Radio (105.0 FM) are a great bunch of bananas. They have that same spunky, happy-go-lucky air that Catholic media people (eg., the Daughters of St. Paul) so often exude.

For example:

They introduce this extremely interesting story with the teaser:

"Find out more about us by clicking on the box below on the right. You'll get answers to questions you never knew you wanted to ask."

Uh-oh, its a Papist Conspiracy

The American Prospect is alarmed. President Bush has nominated one, Judge John Roberts, to SCOTUS. Judge Roberts, the Prospect darkly notes, is a Catholic. You know. One of them.

Well, lets see ...

Judge Clarence Thomas, Catholic
Judge Antonin Scalia, Catholic
Judge Anthony Kennedy, Catholic
Judge John Roberts, Catholic

And everyone knows we're going to replace Rehnquist with a Hispanic. And everyone knows, Hispanics are nearly 100% Catholic, and very often the fascist kind of Catholic too.

So ... to quote my fellow Freepers:

Wow. Only two more Catholic justices needed until we control the United States Government.

Sweeeeet.

If there's ever a Pope from Chicago ...

The Holy Whappers have posted a hilarious thingy once published by Envoy magazine, which describes the encyclical activity of a future Pope John Paul V from Chicago. I thought, with the current Papa spending his vacation writing his very first encyclical, it would only be appropriate to share.

(There are longer explanations of the encyclicals on the Whapping site, but I thought the titles were chortle-milk-up-the-nose funny even just by themselves.)


Tu Et Quis Exercitus? (You And What Army?) Smacking down the media for trying to tell the Pope how to do his job

Amen Amen Dico Vobis; Nihil Muliebrium Sacerdotum (Read My Lips: No Women Priests)

Rursus Dicam: Nullo Modo (I'll Say It Again: No Way) No women's ordination, now or ever, ever, ever

Haec Res Est, Conveniamus Optime Vel Exite (That's The Deal, Take It Or Leave It)
This one's too funny to edit: Encyclical explaining that priestly celibacy in the Latin Rite is a non-negotiable job requirement, and that the only dame he'd better ever find in any rectory after 6:00pm had better be over sixty-five with a dishrag in her hand.

Aio, Tibi Dico (Yeah, I'm Talking To You)
Liturgical Dissent

Soli Rationi Fides (Blind Faith In Reason)
Why Atheism is stupid

Non Solum Balaenas Sed Primum Prenatos Liberos Serva? (Save The Whales, But Save The Unborn Babies First)

Da Mihi Quinque! (Give Me Five!)
Celebrating the explosion of vocations a little orthodoxy has brought on

Splendor Coquinae Poloniae (The Splendor Of Polish Cooking)

Matrimonium Primum Est DEINDE Liberi (It's Marriage First, THEN Children)

Lege, Mehercle, Librum (Read The Book For Crying Out Loud) Re: The Bible

Nonnumquam Vos Facis Ut Tumescear (Sometimes, You People Really Tick Me Off)
Re: The UN

Me Esse, Credo Papam (No, Excuse Me, I believe I'm The Pope) Re: Papal primacy

Our Lady of Mt. Carmel

Last night (well, actually early this morning,) a certain friend of mine reminded me to post on the great feast day the Church celebrated yesterday: Our Lady of Mount Carmel. It is a special day for Our Lady and a special day for this certain friend, too, because he is lucky enough to be able to serve Mass for the nuns in a Carmel.

The Feast Day of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, is of course, celebrated with great reverence and fanfare, especially in the Carmelite Order. You can read all about it here. Hope everyone had a Holy Feast Day! (And have a Holy Sunday!)

Holy, Holy, Fudge

If you haven't been to Confession recently, for the love of God, GO!

But the most disturbing news is that high level U.S. officials now believe at least some of those weapons have been smuggled into the U.S. for use in the near future in major cities as part of this "American Hiroshima" plan, according to an upcoming book, "The Al Qaeda Connection: International Terrorism, Organized Crime and the Coming Apocalypse," by Paul L. Williams, a former FBI consultant.





Hat tip to Quintero

A Second Grader's Prayer

Little kids need Religious Sisters to teach them. And with this cuteness coming out of them, who wouldn't want to teach the bambini? From the
St. Cecilia Dominican's website.

Women Bishops and the Church of England

This is the talk of FreeRepublic's Religion Ghetto.

Apparently the Church of England (Anglicans, proper) has voted to remove the remaining barriers to the ordination of women bishops, causing a rather frenetic stir. (Shannon, you've got to let us know if the Good Guys, a.k.a., the 3rd World Facists, are going to make a scene about this.)

This report was posted by Sionnsar, a Traditional Anglican Freeper whose thoughtful analysis is always appreciated.

The article speculates on whether or not there will be some mass-Tiber-swimming in the wake of this misbehaviour. I don't know. There have been women "priests" in the Anglican Communion since 1992; wouldn't that have been the straw to break the camel's back?

Although, seeing women bishops is very hard to stomach. I remember seeing the infamous consecration of the practicing gay Gene Robinson on television. There were some women dressed up as "bishops" present, and when I saw them I just about fainted dead.

It's Lambeth 1978 all over again. And the guy in charge of the PCPCU is no doubt yanking his hair out all over again. So which poor sap is catching the mess this time? None other than Cardinal Kasper, who as you may recall, once held a privileged position on Cardinal Ratzinger's Enemies List. I can't say I'm not mildly amused ...

Who Wants to Defend the UN?

... Good luck with that, if any of you make the attempt.

Recently the birth control imperialists at the august United Nations celebrated 60 years of child-extermination.

Lucky for me, my two favourite groups of people (Americans and Catholics) are both always around to spoil the party.

The thing about Population Control is that besides being depraved, it is also utterly stupid. My Population Geography Professor was born and raised in Calcutta. You think she'd know about over-crowding, right?

Well, (despite being a big fat liberal in every other sense of the word,) she was violently opposed to the birth control regime required by the UN in exchange for aid. According to her, there are four stages in "Demographic Doom," which correspond roughly to growth in industrialization and capitulation to the contracepting philosophy of the West.

China she said, is in the second stage, with cratering death rates and birth rates. Most of Europe is in the third stage, relying on immigration to keep its most basic population systems going. Romania is in the last stage, teetering on the edge of demographic oblivion.

The class text book, my Professor insisted, was out of date. Unless something is done to reverse the trend of industrialization being linked with sterilization, continued globalization and modernization will result in the popping of our current "population bubble," in a sudden and catastrophic way.

In other words, in four or five generations, the Earth will be barren, self-indulgent, and utterly incapable of providing for its own security and economic future. Basically, it will be French.

Now, is that what you want? Fight the Future: Smackdown the Imperialists at the UN!

Blame Bush!

This blog blames El Presidente for everything! Liberal Larry blames Bush ...

For Murdering Superman
For crashing a probe into a defenseless comet
For mad cow disease
For killing Princess Di
For breaking the Fan Belt on his Mom's '95 Jeep

Other bits of Wisdom from Liberal Larry:

"Jeb Bush forces woman to live"
"Crazy Freak Fetus resembles Human Baby"
"Christianity: Ultimate Evil"
"Jimmy Carter Won the Cold War"

Relax guys, this is a parody, and Liberal Larry is a very funny satirist. Nobody's this silly.
Well, almost nobody.

"You Just Stole A Rosary From The Pope"

Quarterback Joe Freedy quits football, becomes a priest, meets the Pope, steals his Rosaries. Second Funniest Thing Ever. Hat tip to The Angry Twins. (Also visit them for an excellent Gummy Bear representation of the 7 Deadly Sins.)

Pope John Paul II traditionally gave a rosary to everyone he met under such intimate circumstances. Freedy nervously took his from the table and stepped aside so a friend could enjoy the same opportunity. There was an awkward pause for some reason, and no rosary was claimed. So Freedy snatched another one.

"The pope looked at me like "What are you doing?' " Freedy said. "The bishops started laughing. The pope started laughing; "You just stole a rosary from the pope.' "

Full article here.

Happy Independence Day! (And Whats Wrong With the Scientific Method)

The Scientific Method is a beautiful thing. To it, Christianity donated a theory of realist metaphysics, without which Science would be impossible. Fireworks are actually fireworks, sparklers are sparklers, hotdogs are hotdogs. Descartes, Satre and assorted others have since tried to do away with the reality of matter, but they have been quite unsuccessful.

The Scientific Method is inadequate, however. It cannot tell us everything about what is True. Now, Materialists deny this all day long. They would reduce what we know to be true to what can be experimentally proven. Doing that necessarily restricts the truth to what is inferior to us, because we can only control, and therefor experiment with, things which are inferior to us.

But this is contrary to everything we know about human nature. Simple, ordinary people recognize that whatever is truly true is infinitely superior to us: love, friendship, fidelity, imagination, desire, idealism, sacrafice, justice, mercy ...

Can the Scientific Methold help a human being explain the existence of his conscience? Why is "Thou Shall Not Murder" written on every human heart? You could say, all animals avoid killing one another, it is an element of evolution. But homo sapiens are the only creatures which break this law, and the only ones that regret breaking it. Can an animal sit back and admire a fireworks display? Is an animal upset by spending holiday time apart from its family?

Can love be tested and proven, scientifically? Can friendship be tested and proven, scientifically? Never! But anyone who has ever really lived, knows these things are really true. The most beautiful things, the most truthful things, we cannot prove. We only know they are what they are.

I'm Sooo Jealous of these Nuns

I have a friend. (I'd call him a friend, he'd probably say I'm a Grand Irritant and Penance, 1st Class.) This certain friend is well-connected, and he says that dearest Papa has a cold!

I try to keep up with Papa whenever I can, and he always seems to have a cold! At the Mass before the Conclave, he was sniffling. At the Mass after the Conclave, he was hacking up a storm. Whenever I see him, he's got a hanky tucked up his sleeve, and every so often he'll take it out and cough, sneeze, or wipe the sweat off his face.

We need Papa to get better and stay better. So prayer warriors, prepare to storm the gates of Heaven. We simply can't have any of that Luciani business. It is #1 on the list of things Not Allowed.

I Smell Fear

Well, Ms. Sandra Day If-Only-I'd-Swing-the-Other-Way O'Connor has resigned. And lo and behold, loud, hysterical, screams of terror have begun to stream forth from the bowels of the National Organization for Women (NOW.)

They're not the only grumpy ones. Moloch is also upset, because the NOW people are some of his dearest slaves, I mean, friends. Moloch, in case you don't know, is a demon who runs a blog. Go read. If you're a pro-abort, you too are invited to next weekend's pot-luck supper. You bring the potato chips, Moloch will bring the dip.