"But I Don't Have a Family!"

I find myself spending a lot of time these days, just sitting in my car in the Walmart parking lot, thinking thoughts. Remember those old Oncor frozen dinner ads? The ones featuring "Al" and a variety of people who could not possibly finish the 6 yummy servings of juicy Salisbury steak?


I was just a kid when these commercials were playing. Whenever they got to the part where the wrestler, or referee, or football coach says "but I don't have a family!" they'd lose me, utterly. I thought: everyone has a family. I mean, everyone at least has a mother! What they meant of course, was not having a family "of one's own." I have finally figured this out. Better late than never.

This is what I was thinking about in the Walmart parking lot. And it hit me on a new level - everything this "I don't have a family" statement implies. What does it mean to be single-in-the-world?

#1 Singleness is increasingly singular. I am in that season of life where everyone at the party is pairing off. How supremely awkward to be in that room, with no desire or expectation to follow the pattern. Which leads me to the second point that

#2 Singleness is increasingly lonely. Yes, blah blah blah, single people can have a wide circle of friends. But single people are usually friends with single people, of which there are fewer and fewer (see #1.) Marrieds usually make friends with marrieds, preferably with marrieds who have children about the same age. Even if they do happen to keep up a friendship with a single, the reality is that where human relationships are concerned

#3 Singleness means never being at the top of anyone's priority list. Which means always being near the bottom. We all know those friends who will do anything for each other. But we all also know that family comes first. When push comes to shove, a single is never on the winning side.

so I am feeling pretty stinky about it, and rather jealous of the normals who want to be married and have families of their own. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to say: "I don't have a family" out loud, without some trepidation. One thing that's okay about it is the Oncor dinners. I don't need "Al" to invite himself and his family over for dinner. I have the stomach of a cow - I can down 6 Salisbury steaks easy.